Archive for December, 2011

2011 has been quite a mixed year for me, there has been adversity for my friends, my family and myself. In the end though everything seems to have worked itself out and there have been some wonderful moments too. In a way I think the news has followed the same pattern, we were barraged with an unbelievable amount of crap about the economy collapsing, the riots and the generally unecessary levels of suffering. However in amongst all of this were some of the most incredible and/or hilarious things I think I’ve ever heard. So here we go

Snoop Dogg’s giant vegetables

I’ve been a fan of the crazy world of giant vegetables ever since I saw Half Ton Veg (which I’d highly recommend if you can find it). It turns out Snoop’s also a fan and what starts as the most surreal shout out I’ve ever seen snowballs into one of the best news reports I think I’ve ever seen. Just watch this, it will enrich your life

I’m not sure if the word subtlety is in either of their dictionaries. Thank you both though for bringing me joy

‘Apologising’ to Chris Brown

I wouldn’t think anything on FOX news would make it into my favourites but I guess sometimes their zealotry is actually aimed at a valid target. I wont ruin it if you’ve never seen it before but trust me watch this

Zing!

Basmati Rice Man

The riots were a dark time for London. I was working in Croydon so I got the full driving past the smouldering remains of Reeves on my morning commute. While the arsonists were completely inexcusable (I mean what do you get out of burning down a furniture shop, honestly?) the looters were a source of immense amusement. Once all of the plasma TVs, Xboxs, iPads etc to loot had run out, people carried on with pride. One rioter left with half a dozen Left shoes, another with a handful of Mars bars but noone can beat this guy

Seriously? Tesco value basmati rice. This wouldnt even be that bad if he didn’t try to make out like he was some kind of hardcore gangsta by doing this

‘How on earth do you sleep at night?

If you don’t live in the UK, the One show is a cheesy inoffensive magazine/chat programme we get subjected to on a daily basis. Usually I would try to avoid watching it but back in March there was definately a reason to tune in. The highly media imaged based way that our politics works at the moment means that giving a superficial interview to shows like this is considered entirely necessary. Queue PM David Cameron and his turn to make himself look like he’s doing more by saying that he’s doing it more. Everything went fine until the closing moments when Matt Baker drops this bombshell.

Personally I just love the look on Alex Jones face when she realises whats happening

Charlie Sheen

How could I really sum up the absurdity of 2011 without mentioning Charlie Sheen. While a celebrity breakdown is nothing unusual this man made it into an art form. I’m not sure what the low (or high?) point of the whole debacle was but trying to copyright his catchphrases was a personal favourite, that and the whole tiger blood thing. Strangely even now he is having a bit of a comeback.  It only goes to show that if youre going to do something do it properly. I’m sure you’re probably sick of the  videos of this so let me instead leave you with the excellent eponymous track by Staggerquake

The laser that’ll rip apart time

As a scientist, electonica producer and avid clubber , I love lasers in pretty much every way. This year a laser was designed and approved that somehow I don’t think will ever find its way into my personal collection. In fact this laser would probably be more appropriate for Dr Evils collection… as it has the ability to rip apart space-time and reveal the sea of theoretical particles underneath. If your concerned that this coincides too well with the whole ‘the world shall end in 2011’  thang, don’t worry, there not intending to turn  it on till  2017

Westboro Baptist church iphone fail

Words like evil are overused nowadays but if you’ve never heard of the Westboro baptist church trust me they fit the bill. Lets put it this way, when Louis Theroux went to visit them the episode titled referred to them as the most hated family  in America. The sort of people who go to picket an army funeral with banners saying that allowing gays in the armed forces caused their deaths or pretty much every bad taste, racist or inflammatory statement they can dream up. When Steve Jobs passed away this was their twitter response

Oops! I was really hoping to find out that Steve Jobs; ghost could unleash biblical plagues on people via their iPhones and go to task on the unholy Phelps in revenge for this. No news yet, will keep you posted.

Japanese zombie wedding

Not exactly world news but if you’re going to have a themed wedding do it properly. And noone does things properly like the Japanese

Well thats certainly a sweet picture of the happy couple, wait is that a …

I’ll take that as a yes. Personally I wouldn’t invite the undead to a wedding, they bring terrible gifts

Well there are a few snippets of 2011 that tickled my fancy. Bring on 2012, I’ve got an album coming out, 366 days to use and abuse and a world of possibilities to explore. As have all of us (well except the first one I suspect). I hope yours is excellent

Love and Peace

Dataphiles

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